The Joy of Family

While home for Thanksgiving, we celebrated my nephew’s first birthday.

My car isn’t this awesome!

It was an amazing party, with the theme of ducks! I know my sister was stressed about it all, but she pulled the event off seamlessly. Going home to see family, as I’ve written, is hard because we don’t see each other often, but knowing the good stock I come from always makes the hard days a little easier.

I get the joy of staying home with Addie. Being a stay-at-home-mom is not something I thought I wanted in life, but the second I saw her, I knew that 8 weeks wouldn’t be enough time for me to part with her for hours at a time. My big sister is VP of a huge advertising firm, has the handsomest little boy, and the perfect (for her) hubby. Her life is full of elegant events, important meetings and weekends poolside. She dedicates herself to her family, and all the work she put into throwing a party in Pennsylvania, and one in Florida (where she lives)- all while traveling for work and maintaining her home- leaves me in total awe.

My favorite of the family pics

My days are spent like my nights- I’m usually hooked up to a pump, or a baby, or running a vacuum, or cleaning up dog puke, using dry shampoo to feel better, or sewing something together and writing about life. I am proud of all that I do. I am glad that I know how to use a sewing machine now (and I have the scars to prove it). I’m glad I stuck with pumping, when Addie decided that nursing was only for sleeping. I am proud of myself for having such a clean home, with a fridge laden with crafts my infant has produced (hand turkey, anyone?) and polished silver on the buffet. I get dinner on the table and most days I remember to eat lunch. I haven’t put on my running shoes in weeks, but I know I will again. When I’m ready. I’d love to have the glamor and the means with which to be a bit more fancy, but being so diverse makes us family.

Mark was so gentle with his little cousin

There are families who remain as such because they are all the same, and families who part ways because they are so different. We are family because we choose to be. We are all different- even the identical twins. I am proud of us, and I am [especially] proud of my three siblings for all they’ve accomplished in the past 6 years. From starting a new life and creating one, to getting good grades and falling in love, to finding a career and living on their on. We are family, and Addie is blessed to be a part of such a tribe as we.

A boy and his dad

HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY, MARK and Happy anniversary to my big sister. I am so proud of you- your strength, your beauty and your tenacity to keep hurdling over, and never cowering under, what life throws at you. Life doesn’t just happen… we make it so. Thank you for that lesson.

My apologies

As I sit here too late at night to think, I wonder: where has my time has gone?

Like any new mom, I am tired. But I am not tired because Addie doesn’t sleep. I am tired because I don’t sleep. My mother is coming tomorrow, but the house is already so clean that I decided I had to wash the couch cushions before she arrived.

The. Couch. Cushions.
Did I mention one couch is brown and one is cream?
That’s two separate cycles. Two different detergents. And twice the drying time.

That’s not to say that my house is immaculate. I have sewing material from one end of the dining room to the other, from fabric to thread… I NEED to get a pin cushion. That makes me feel about 100 years old. However, there is no hair on the floors, the bathroom is scrubbed and my bedroom can’t be vacuumed at 11pm. And so, the couch cushions are being picked on. Plus, they smell like Carter. The dog.

My real reason for wracking my brain is where is my writing? I have been looking for the same passion I possessed when I wrote my first post. When Addie was still trapped by wires and IVs in a hospital bed. When I looked at her and was filled with so much love and fear I thought I would explode from the pressure building in my body. But, I didn’t. I wrote. I released it all and I felt better. The research I found, the community built around me and the love and support of family were all I needed.

We came home, and I wrote more and more. I looked down at her and felt home. Free. Accomplished. I felt love.

I have been so obsessed with getting all of my emotions, science and fun about Delaware out that I’ve forgotten how to organize my brain. I’m so focused, I cannot focus! And so (finally), I have a post coming… a fun post- something great for parents looking for alternative travel. I wanted to whet your appetite and let you know: I DID NOT FORGET ABOUT YOU, READERS!

Sometimes, I forget about me. I sit with my glass of wine and talk with my husband, but I forget to get on the computer and get it all out of me. Release all of the things I need to say into this damned machine that entraps me with LIKE, Approve Tag, Pin, Share, and the sorts.

I like to write. I need to write. And I want to let you know… everything went great in Delaware! I have travel tips coming soon, as well as new growth and milestone charts for achon babies (parents, I hope your printers are working), more information about children with dwarfism in general, and a whole slew of new thoughts brewing in this over-tired brain!  Thanks for sticking with me!

Addie thanks you, too!

Hallmark

Aside from all of the  heavy things there are out there to vent, pursue, educate and cry about, I thought I would treat you to some ridiculous, if not heartwarming, writing. A lighthearted piece, if you will.

For starters, happy 15 weeks to the beautiful Miss Adelaide Eileen! (And hello Aunt Jessie- we love you, clearly!)

Onto the meat of this puff piece:
I love Christmas. And when I say love, I mean I’m obsessed. I got on a ladder, perching  off the side of the columns in the front of my house at 18 weeks pregnant to put up Christmas lights last year and I cannot wait to pass the sickness along to Addie.

Every year we get a new Hallmark ornament. From childhood my mom made sure we had an ornament that was chosen specifically for us. My brothers have the Star Wars series, my sister the Barbie series, my Dad (when he was alive) got the penguin/snowman on ice every year, and we always got her something to do with gardening. (We also got her matching lipstick and nail polish and a cloth calendar for the year, which we can no longer find.) I have the Puppy Love series, beginning from it’s inception in 1991. I have many others, and I’ve attempted to wrangle every boyfriend and best friend ever into the love of the holidays by purchasing them their very own ornament for the tree, but the most important ones are the ones that my mom chose for me. I know that she loves the ornaments and decorations I made with thumb prints drawn into reindeer or a Santa and elves. But my favorites are each and every one that I placed on the tree with my mom at Christmas and opened on Christmas Eve. The small puppies smiling at me from a basket or wrapped in a scarf, perfectly wrapped in their original boxes, waiting to be taken out and hung.

And now, it’s my turn.  As I walked into the Hallmark store in Garden City, Cranston for the Christmas in July weekend, I was nervous. I wanted to get the right 1st Christmas ornament for her.

I looked at them all. Then I walked away and picked out Dave’s ornament (he gets the guitar one ever year) and checked out the baby ones again. Then I walked away to think.  Then I walked back and I saw it. Somehow I had missed it. lil’ peanut was staring at Addie, whom I fondly refer to as my baby beanut. Yes: Beanut. I don’t know why or how it began, but it did and it’s become one of her million names. And here was this ornament staring me in the face and making me tear up. The poor sales girl who watched me pace and compare for 45 minutes while holding Addie who was drooling all over me, must have thought I was crazy.

I know it’s just and ornament to most people, but to me, it’s the beginning. The first of many memories that I cannot wait to have with my beautiful baby girl. I can’t wait to light our Chanukkah candles and pass on the tradition of silly gifts: socks, headbands, gloves, scarves, a hat- eight silly gifts to pale in the shadow of such a beautiful story about the holiday. And to celebrate Christmas with midnight mass, opening her ornament on the eve of, and waking up way too early to eat a chocolate orange strategically shoved in the toe of a custom L.L.Bean stocking.

So here is her ornament:

If you’re in the area for the holidays, please stop in- we would love to celebrate with you- no matter what holiday you celebrate.