Did someone say Marvelous Monday?

Are we there yet? By there, I mean Wednesday… when Dave gets home from his business trip.

I feel so whiny about him being gone, but the worst part is he’s not in the US, so I can’t talk to him. He is in the UK… it sounds more glamorous than it is- he could be in Ohio and it would all look the same. There is no sight seeing, or time to go out. He goes from the airport to a hotel and to work and back and forth until the last day that he ends up going from Heathrow to Logan, back to his car and home to me! His hotels either have WiFi that costs £4 per 10 minutes, or it’s free and set up really poorly. Either way, he’s been gone since Saturday at 5 and I have yet to talk to him. What I am thankful for, however, are his parents who fed the remaining Cranston Martinka’s last night and sent me home with food for lunch, fresh fruit for the week and a bottle of pinot noir. Sometimes, when the hubby isn’t there, his parents step in for the win!

My usual dwarfism fact really isn’t so much fact as life this week. Many of my fellow humans have been thoughtfully (note: sarcastic) reading about the pickles (still) and sending some of the most vile emails I’ve ever read. I will never share intimate details about them on the blog, but I will respond to one reoccurring theme: “I’ll bet this lady didn’t care about the pickles before her baby was born that way.”

One: Don’t refer to Addie’s dwarfism as that way. It’s so ignorant sounding, I can’t imagine anyone wants to come off as that silly.
Two: I’ve always cared about pickles. They’re delicious.
Three: I never noticed the pickles before, and if I had- YOU’RE RIGHT! The naming on these jars didn’t strike a chord in me, which is why I understand when people tell me they don’t get it. Many often follow up that statement with, but as a parent, I support you. This is educating others, creating conversation, and the more I have shared the m-word and its history and the pain, the more response I am getting- in the positive.

And so, to respond to that… I guess all I can say is: you’re right. Before I was personally effected by dwarfism in my family, I didn’t have the same passion I do now. In the same way that many men don’t care about the fact that many heart medications cause erectile dysfunction and the medications used to treat ED are unsafe for men with heart conditions, until they’re in that place in life. Guess what: I don’t understand why you’re so upset about those medical issues. I’d prefer to live than to get a boner- but hey, that’s just me. I don’t mock, criticize or threaten anyone who has sued, written or otherwise addressed this issue. My point is, evolution happens as time goes on (duh!). When one person is effected by something, whether at birth or 30 years down the road. Whether it’s something they’ve always been passionate about, or they just recently became involved with. Life happens when we’re busy living it- all we can do is try to improve each step and make sure our feet are on solid ground- this is what I am trying to provide for Addie. I want to lay a more solid path for her.

I went into this blindly. Pathetic, I know, but it’s kind of how I fell into Addie’s diagnosis. I have been trying to write about this exact topic. I’m just learning to see and trying to help guide other parents, if that makes sense. In the end, I just want people to know that many POLP (parents of little people) are in this alone, or lonely, at least. Eighty percent of us have no experience in our own families of having a LP in our lives. We aren’t sure of the medical implications, the social interactions that will occur, or how to best protect our kids. We are doing the best we can- just as most parents are. If this whole situation still seems to be just about pickles, I invite you to come back to the blog in a few weeks when I begin the series about name changes. From hotdogs to lacrosse teams- this is a movement. I invite you to join, or honestly, get the heck out of my way.

And my random of the week:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!

Yesterday my Dad would have been 64. I tried to hold it all together, but around 11pm when I rolled over and Dave wasn’t there, I let a few tears fall on his pillow. Today, I woke up smiling. I have a beautiful Mom who celebrates her day today! She is the most amazing woman I’ve ever met- or could ever meet. She is strong and resilient. She gives herself day-in and day-out to her patients (she’s a family psychologist), and then answers her cell phone when she’s not in session to counsel my sister, two brothers and myself in our daily lives.

I know I mentioned in a previous post that when I grew up I wanted to be me… I also hope to, in part, be my Mom. ❤

We could be sisters!

Happy Monday, Reader!

What’s in a name?

I’ve been reading SO many of these, and though my blog started out to educate about dwarfism and achondroplasia, more specifically… let’s be honest: I LOVE TO WRITE and I love to write about a lot of things. I wish I had a paying gig… heck, I’d write about toad hunting 363 days a year (I need Christmas and New Years off) if it paid well, but alas, I write about… c’est moi!

And so, what better way than to link up with the beautiful Rhody Bloggers, more specifically Carla? Exactly: there’s no better way. This is a series I hope to link up to weekly, that shows who we were before we were moms! As many of you might know me before I was a mom… you don’t need to chime in. (Now is the time you laugh)

Sometimes I forget who I was before I was Mrs. Martinka. But, since April 17,  2012, I forget who I was before then all the time. I forget that I went out too much, or had lots of gossiping girl friends. I forget that I wasn’t always so selfless. I forget I was in college, I was in high school, I was an athlete, musician and scholar. I forget that I began writing as a poet, who impressed every teacher in my first grade class with my rhymes.

So, I begin this series with the first prompt: How did you get your name? Did you always love it? Have you ever wanted to change it?

My name is *GASP* “Michelle”. It’s not Chelley, or Shelly as many people want to spell it, or pronounce it “Cha-ellie”. It is, in fact, Michelle. With two ‘L’s. Ok, let’s spell it out. My name is:
Michelle (Chelley) Kathryn Joanna Worth Martinka

Growing up, I was OK with my name, but when my big sister (who I still idolize… like if she has it I have to, too. The only thing I ever did first was marry. What does she do? Marry someone younger. S*it.) came home and told me about the nickname “Shelly”, I was a gonner. She even made me a name plate in art class of clay in lots of different colors. I keep it at my parents’ house. I adore it, and someday, when I’m rich and famous, it will adorn my desk and I will laugh at those who can’t spell my nickname as I have deemed it C-H-E-L-L-E-Y, though she spelled it S-H-E-L-L-Y. Why do I spell it with a ‘C’ and an ‘ey’? Two reasons. One, my sister (duh!) told me about someone named “Chelly”. Second, I like spelling rules, and so I have my own: Drop the “Mi” add a “y”. So Michelle becomes Chelley. Yeah, I’m a bit grammar-obsessed. I also love commas,,,,,,, and ellipses…

Moving along! I got my name from my Dad and my sister. I won’t go into detail as the story of being named on the way to a Flyers’ game is painful. One: Pelle Lindbergh was pronounced dead the day after my 1st birthday. I have the newspaper from Philadelphia Inquirer from November 10, 1985 which tells of his accident. Headliner. Two: What the heck is up with the NHL this year. Football? See ya! Basketball? Ummmm… No thank you. Whatever other sports there are, which there aren’t: BYE! Where is my hockey?! Now that the NHL is back, I feel better, but I am bitter.

The tale goes, I was really little and being born in the 80’s they let parents take their children out of the house before they were 30, so my parents thought hey, let’s bring her to a hockey game! Little did they know, I would later become an addict. On the way to the game, they realized they had not settled on a final name, but had been calling me “Mickey”… yep, like the mouse. Somehow, they landed on “Michelle”. A choosing of my Dad and sister. Mom got the middle name of “Kathryn”, after a great aunt. I love the different spelling. I guess I was destined to like different spellings from the beginning.

Although I have no always loved it, I’m glad that my name wasn’t something else I had chosen growing up.

At one point, I wore a dog mask around the house and demanded my mother call me “Trixie”.

At another point in my life, while on summer vacation, I thought that it would be fun to tell boys my name was “Jaycie”. Why? Because I wanted to be Jaycie Phelps. Oddly, I was always too tall to be a serious gymnast.

Growing up a Worth woman, I will always love my maiden name and take great pride in the fact that my father loved my first name. He chose it, after all. But, as a married woman, I love being Michelle Martinka. My sister calls me “m&m”. I have a voice mail from her that starts, “hello my m&m,” that I’ve saved for over a year. It’s a part of me. I will always be “Chelley”, but when I am Michelle, or Mrs. Martinka, I like it well enough!

My Best Friend

If I could choose an inanimate object as my BFF, I would chose the NoseFrida. The tagline: The Snot Sucker, may intimidate you, but I promise it’s worth it. In conjunction with the bulb syringe, it makes MOM and unstoppable force against snot.

Addie began to show signs of congestion a few weeks ago, and though she is happy as a clam (are clams really that happy), the snot running down the face look is just not for me. I used to bulb, but it didn’t get it all out and it took a long time, so I took a chance on the NoseFrida. It’s AMAZING!

I suck the deep back with the *bulb syringe then get it all with the Frida, and call it a day!

Children with achondroplasia often have narrow nasal passages, so I was concerned about the season of stuffy noses and teething all running into each other, but I know we can tackle it with our new friend! It’s non-invasive, quick and Addie actually laughs at it half the time! She is able to keep her bink in, too, which is a great distraction. I was concerned about snot in my mouth, but the Swedes (it’s a Swedish product) thought of everything- the part against the nose is very long (I’ve never gotten anything above the tip), then there is a filter- which is easy to change and comes with extra (also available separately), then there is the tub you suck through which is long. Although I would not use this on a child other than mine (that seems really gross), I think this is something I wish I had registered for. It is a great investment (about $14-20 depending on where you purchase).

** Martinka must-haves to battle the nose
1. Little Noses “kit”
2. NoseFrida
3. Kleenex (The inexpensive brands are very dry and rough on baby noses!)
4. Baby cotton swabs (the dry cotton helps grab anything you missed)

* proper use of the syringe includes HOLDING the opposite nostril to create suction! Just putting it in the nose does not give enough to pull snot down.

** PLEASE be VERY careful when putting anything in your child’s nose. The NoseFrida is GREAT because you don’t have to put it in the nose which takes away the chance of injuring your child.