Category Archives: Marvelous Monday

Time!

I’m making the leap to self hosted!

For this reason, I may not post for a few days while I make the transfer… fear not! I love you, my dear readers, and I hope that making this change will help me bring you MORE! Giveaways… to be exact! …and that it will be as seamless as I’m told it will be!

Sadly, Marvelous Monday post will not make it this week, BUT there will be a Delaware update with some of the most adorable pictures ever next week! I don’t want to miss what I am thankful for, so please know that  it’s YOU! Thank you for sticking with me… I’ll see you on the other side ❤

To tide you over… this is my FAVORITE picture from Addie’s birthday party in Rhode Island. Yes, it’s the most adorable picture you’ve ever seen 🙂

SUGAR RUSH!

SUGAR RUSH!

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Marvelous Monday

Sorry for the late Marvelous Monday post! It was quite the weekend here… thus I will be brief!

This week I am thankful to be a part of such an amazing group of women. I am a Rhody Blogger, and there is a smaller group I support called the Rhody Bloggers for Good– they are amazing women. Truly inspiring. This weekend they hosted (with La-Z-Boy Warwick) a sit-a-thon for Belle Bradley, who is battling cancer and her mom, Melissa- who is battling not just Belle’s illness, but the medical bills associated with the disease. I was blessed to be a part of the festivities, donating things to the yard sale and sitting for a few hours tweeting, instagram-ing and Facebook-ing the event. Together, $10,000 were raised to help the Bradley family!

From Rhody Bloggers

From Rhody Bloggers

My dwarfism fact of the week brings up our week ahead! Many children with dwarfism see genetic and orthopedic specialists, among many other types- there are very few to actually specialize in skeletal dysplasia, however. In Addie’s case, we drive over 300 miles each way to see Dr. Bober and Dr. MacKenzie for genetics and orthopedics, respectively. It’s a lot of driving, and we do it twice a year- but at least it’s not a flight away- and we are so thankful that Addie has the best care possible from two of the most amazing doctors. There are many children out there who have to travel much further than we do, or don’t have any access to a specialist at all. For all we have and all the properly trained doctors we have, we are so blessed! We are heading to Delaware this week, in fact!

Lastly, my random of the week: With my baby girl coming up on one year, it’s amazing to see her growing into her own person, but also taking on traits of both Dave and myself. Here she is doing her first instructional vlog on how to blog and her first typed piece below! It feels good to have such a talented baby!

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//’,./,.nv c  vb 0 n

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Have a beautiful week!!!

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Marvelous Monday!

So, It’s been QUITE the weekend. I think I am stressed for the next two weeks before they even happen. Don’t you hate when you do that to yourself?! I am combining MM with Mom Before Mom because… well, sometimes life just all comes together in sweet harmony. Read on!

This week I am thankful for my beautiful girl and her power of healing. We had a wonderful visit with the ENT two weeks ago to check on her tubes and they’re doing great! She seems like she is hearing SO much better, but I will have more conclusive, scientific results after our audiology appointment in May. Until then, we are back in the water and loving out new ear plugs- they’re even fun to try and eat!

Ear Plugs

Which brings me to the Mom Before Mom prompt from All of me Now this week: What was the first piece of music you couldn’t stop listening to? What was the first piece of music you bought?

I am so glad that Addie can hear! I can say that I remember driving my sister crazy when I was about 15, listening to Dave Matthew’s Band over and over- more specifically, Every dog has it’s day every day has it’s way of being forgotten- “Mom it’s my birthday.” What would you say?, and then restarting the song. Ah, the joys of newly made compact discs.

But my first favorite memories of music are the nights after Flyers’ games, when I was half asleep in the back of the car and my Dad put on Oldies 98fm Philadelphia for Doo Wop Sundays. As I drifted off to sleep, knowing that I would wake up in the morning safe in my bed, I listed to some amazing songs like Earth Angel, In the Still of the Night, Sixteen Candles, I Only Have Eyes for You, Why do Fools Fall in Love, A Teenager in Love, Pretty Little Angel Eyes, Life is But a Dream, Blue Moon, Tears on my Pillow, Sunday Kind of Love, Since I Don’t Have You, and my all-time favorite Unchained Melody. These songs all bring me back to a time where I knew (almost) nothing bad in this world existed. Where all evils could be cured by a hug from my Dad.

I want this for Addie. I am thankful that Dave and I can give her the gift of music, and that Dr. G was able to give her (back) the miracle that is hearing. Dave is a very talented musician and he needs to share that with her. I want to give my little angel all the happy memories and related history that comes along with different musical eras. To cherish memories that were both mine as a child, and my Dad’s (him being young in the 50’s and growing up with this music), gives me the “old soul” I’m said to possess. Passing on my love of music is something I am proud to give to Addie and cannot wait to share with her more and more as she grows into her likes and dislikes… or maybe I can wait- if it means NOT having to listen to the same Sesame Street song over and over and over!

* * *

This week, in light of Easter, I’d love to focus my information about dwarfism to weight. Addie had a beautiful Easter shoot last weekend, as a model for one of my wonderful friends, Lynette, owner of Exalt Photography.
Exalt PhotographyYesterday was Easter and we had a beautiful time as a family! We went to Home Depot, snuggled in, boiled eggs we never dyed, and had a wonderful dinner at my bestie’s house… we also had an Easter basket!

Easter Basket

… with no candy or food of any kind involved. Someone made a point of emailing me to tell me that I shouldn’t feel superior just because I don’t give Addie sweets or candy because she’s young and I will someday. My response, quite simply, is OK. I don’t feel superior to anyone for any reason. The feeling that you need to email me to tell me that giving Addie candy and sweets is in some way inevitable is a given, makes me wonder why you are so passionate about this issue. She will have these things, but they do not have to come from our home. In no way does that ever need to happen. Will it? Sure. But I have made a parenting decision- equally with Dave- that sweets and treats will not be a part of our holidays. Instead, we choose books. Addie has gotten a special book for each holiday thus far. Perhaps she will get a special DVD one year, or a specific outfit. But, there are so many opportunities for junk outside the home, there is no need for me to spend my money supplying such things. It is not a judgement on what others do… it is just our prerogative.

With that being said: lots of other children do not have the automatic predisposition to obesity. Not being overweight. Obesity. I am a healhty person by nature. I like salad, I enjoy running and I come from a family of athletic people. While Addie is partly my genetic make-up, she is also Dave’s, who comes from a less athletic family. And she’s also something completely different from us. She is her! Children with achondroplasia have a high-risk for weight issues. I’ve been on a few sites in the last 10 months that have parents asking for dietary tips for their achondroplastic children… their 4 to 7 year olds, who are being placed on dietary restrictions because of their weight. That is terrifying to me. In a world where primary concerns are looks and weight, especially for girls, I am concerned for Addie. I want to give her the right foods now to avoid the issue of childhood dieting (which can have terrible emotional consequences, and often times don’t last) later. If Addie doesn’t have fast food (which Dave and I do not ever eat. Ever.), juices (they’re all sugar) or cake and candy, I won’t be setting her up for failure. Just a bite here and there at home, as regulated as they are, do not account for what she will encounter outside the home. Just a few extra pounds on her will effect her hips (she has dysplasia), knees and ankles, not to mention her spine- in-which she has some minor issues now.

It may seem like we are “hippy-dippy” (as I was recently called and chuckled about) because we have no TV, we don’t ever go through a drive-thru and I refuse to give Addie junk food (she snacks on peas- and rarely her auntie gives her puffed cereal), but I’m truthfully just trying to give her the best start to life as I can. How many play dates will be spent playing a video game or watching a movie (she still has never watched a movie)? How many parents will grab chicken fingers from BK for dinner when Addie gets a ride home? How many birthday parties will have pizza, cake and ice cream? A lot. I want Addie to learn about wonderful raw foods, foods cooked with love and care- prepared with whole ingredients that she can identify and learn to use in her own ways. I want Addie to learn how to play outside in the hot Summer sun, the warm Spring air, the brisk chill and leaves of Fall, and the snowy days in a New England Winter. I want her to like to dance in the rain, the way I do. There wasn’t a reason to be inside (except for lightening and thunder) as a child, and for that reason I am an active, healthy adult.

I guess as crazy as I seem, I am not trying to restrict her from ever having certain foods or watching TV, but I make the conscious decision to not have them in my home (for my sake as much as her’s), and to not spend my money on them. What other people do and all the elements of the world… they’re not something I can control. Addie will make decisions for herself as she gets older, and I will make those decisions for her now, as other parents do for their children. Sometimes Addie will be in the crosshairs of our family values and others. That’s OK! That’s growing up and becoming your own person- acceptance, respect and, at minimum, tolerance of other values are wonderful life lessons. I never ate Big Macs and therefore I never want one. I don’t battle with weight or weight-related illness. It’s just that simple. Many things in Addie’s life are bound to be struggles. With a healthy lifestyle, weight doesn’t have to be one of them.

* * *

My random of the week (of which there are two) is a BIG Happy Birthday to my amazing hubby Dave and his business partners Domenick and Jamez. Their business BSharp has been open for TEN YEARS!!!!! It may not be what keeps us afloat anymore, but it is an accomplishment to keep a business alive for 10 years, especially in this economy, especially in Rhode Island. Just ask Curtis Montague Schilling, also known as Curt, who couldn’t make a business work with 75 million dollars. I digress. Happy birthday, BSharp! I love you, Dave. I am so proud to be the wife of such an amazing, dedicated man. Working two jobs to keep your ladies together means more to both of us than we could ever tell you ❤

Bsharp

Second… IF YOU HAVE DRESSES YOU WANT TO RID YOURSELF OF AND ARE IN THE AREA…
Dresses

It’s back – Say Yes to the Prom Dress! The Pawtucket Community Partnership Team Against Violence are looking for donations of gently used prom dresses! Make arrangements to drop off your clean and generous donations to make a teen’s DREAM COME TRUE by calling us at (401) 723-3057 by April 12th.

Addie and I dropped off 15 dresses last week

Addie and I dropped off 15 dresses last week

Dresses 15

We will pick dresses up from you and make the delivery! It’s so easy to help!

Have a fantastic week, Reader!!!

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Did someone say Marvelous Monday?

Are we there yet? By there, I mean Wednesday… when Dave gets home from his business trip.

I feel so whiny about him being gone, but the worst part is he’s not in the US, so I can’t talk to him. He is in the UK… it sounds more glamorous than it is- he could be in Ohio and it would all look the same. There is no sight seeing, or time to go out. He goes from the airport to a hotel and to work and back and forth until the last day that he ends up going from Heathrow to Logan, back to his car and home to me! His hotels either have WiFi that costs £4 per 10 minutes, or it’s free and set up really poorly. Either way, he’s been gone since Saturday at 5 and I have yet to talk to him. What I am thankful for, however, are his parents who fed the remaining Cranston Martinka’s last night and sent me home with food for lunch, fresh fruit for the week and a bottle of pinot noir. Sometimes, when the hubby isn’t there, his parents step in for the win!

My usual dwarfism fact really isn’t so much fact as life this week. Many of my fellow humans have been thoughtfully (note: sarcastic) reading about the pickles (still) and sending some of the most vile emails I’ve ever read. I will never share intimate details about them on the blog, but I will respond to one reoccurring theme: “I’ll bet this lady didn’t care about the pickles before her baby was born that way.”

One: Don’t refer to Addie’s dwarfism as that way. It’s so ignorant sounding, I can’t imagine anyone wants to come off as that silly.
Two: I’ve always cared about pickles. They’re delicious.
Three: I never noticed the pickles before, and if I had- YOU’RE RIGHT! The naming on these jars didn’t strike a chord in me, which is why I understand when people tell me they don’t get it. Many often follow up that statement with, but as a parent, I support you. This is educating others, creating conversation, and the more I have shared the m-word and its history and the pain, the more response I am getting- in the positive.

And so, to respond to that… I guess all I can say is: you’re right. Before I was personally effected by dwarfism in my family, I didn’t have the same passion I do now. In the same way that many men don’t care about the fact that many heart medications cause erectile dysfunction and the medications used to treat ED are unsafe for men with heart conditions, until they’re in that place in life. Guess what: I don’t understand why you’re so upset about those medical issues. I’d prefer to live than to get a boner- but hey, that’s just me. I don’t mock, criticize or threaten anyone who has sued, written or otherwise addressed this issue. My point is, evolution happens as time goes on (duh!). When one person is effected by something, whether at birth or 30 years down the road. Whether it’s something they’ve always been passionate about, or they just recently became involved with. Life happens when we’re busy living it- all we can do is try to improve each step and make sure our feet are on solid ground- this is what I am trying to provide for Addie. I want to lay a more solid path for her.

I went into this blindly. Pathetic, I know, but it’s kind of how I fell into Addie’s diagnosis. I have been trying to write about this exact topic. I’m just learning to see and trying to help guide other parents, if that makes sense. In the end, I just want people to know that many POLP (parents of little people) are in this alone, or lonely, at least. Eighty percent of us have no experience in our own families of having a LP in our lives. We aren’t sure of the medical implications, the social interactions that will occur, or how to best protect our kids. We are doing the best we can- just as most parents are. If this whole situation still seems to be just about pickles, I invite you to come back to the blog in a few weeks when I begin the series about name changes. From hotdogs to lacrosse teams- this is a movement. I invite you to join, or honestly, get the heck out of my way.

And my random of the week:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!

Yesterday my Dad would have been 64. I tried to hold it all together, but around 11pm when I rolled over and Dave wasn’t there, I let a few tears fall on his pillow. Today, I woke up smiling. I have a beautiful Mom who celebrates her day today! She is the most amazing woman I’ve ever met- or could ever meet. She is strong and resilient. She gives herself day-in and day-out to her patients (she’s a family psychologist), and then answers her cell phone when she’s not in session to counsel my sister, two brothers and myself in our daily lives.

I know I mentioned in a previous post that when I grew up I wanted to be me… I also hope to, in part, be my Mom. ❤

We could be sisters!

We could be sisters!

Happy Monday, Reader!

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Moving on…

How did you choose what to do after high school? Did anyone provide valuable advice which influenced your decision?

This is the next prompt from Carla at AllofMeNow, who is running the Mom Before Mom series that I’ve been writing each weekend. I LOVE these pieces- initially because they allowed me the time to reflect, but now because they give me the right to feel things I didn’t get a chance to as a child.

I had always known that I would go to college. I dreamt of becoming a flight attendant, and then of being a doctor. The doctor thing stuck with me for a while. I was going to cure cancer. My cousin had died at 18 of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and I was going to stop it from ever happening again.

Then my Dad died. April 21, 1998 I had more than just bad dreams to battle, I had the dreams of a child crushed under the weight of fluid filled lungs and a 6’1″ man residing in a cold bed, now housing a 140 pound body. It sounds graphic. It might have been. Regardless, he was gone and I could never face my dreams again.

So… I did what lots of girls do- I tried to find my Dad. I didn’t go around to boys looking for them to be daddy, I dated boys who had strong dads who would protect me and love me as their own. They helped shape me into the woman I became- some offering advice on how to throw a punch, some telling me tales of how to write a good cover letter. It was all encompassing of my father, who would have shown me and told me how to do everything from reducing the swelling on a bruised knee, to building my own computer and how to french-braid my own hair.

You’re wondering how this has anything to do with my post-high school life? Let’s call him Mer. Mer and I had a relationship- he’d graduated from a college in Rhode Island earlier in the year we’d met, that I later graduated from as well. Prior to my application, acceptance, scholarship, over-achievement and early commencement, I was lost. My whole life I was going to cure cancer, but as I moved into my later teen years, I learned to accept the fact that I had no ability to separate myself from feeling. Six years of schooling, grueling nights working on a cadaver, no sleep, little money, insurance risks- all this meant nothing. What stopped me from accepting the obligation I’d laid upon myself 5 years prior to my high school graduation- to cure cancer- was the fact that I could not tell a child they were going to lose their parent.

So, as I held onto my high school job of working in a kitchen and found I loved planning events (I’d even been so blessed as to need to color code and list most aspects of my life), and Mer told me all about Johnson & Wales University, I knew I had my next step planned. Done and done.

It sounds so silly… how I got there, what it meant. I’ve done very little with my degree since 2008- I graduated in 2006. I learned a lot about the non-profit sector, and that’s been helpful… but I was meant to change things. Big things. I wasn’t just meant to plan weddings… which, by the way, I love! I have a wedding coming up in September, and I am SO glad to be back in the saddle (two weddings in two years can make a planner want more more more), but beyond that… I have a larger goal, a longer stride, a destiny to make a difference.

I’ve awoken in a cold sweat more than once, swearing that I was 13 again standing at the side of my father’s bed rattling off a litany of medications and therapies, transfusions and a test for… but I wake up. Before I can hear myself breathing as though I’ve just run a marathon, there is a high-pitched beep in my ear signifying a flat line. They’re all dead. My cousin, my Dad. Thousands of patients I didn’t save.

It sounds morbid, but perhaps it’s what led me to now. If I had gone to med school, I would have been confined to a lab, spending years of my life fighting to cure something I truly believe the pharmaceutical companies don’t want to cure (this is a whole other topic about conspiracy that I firmly believe in). I wish I could know my cousin now- she would be 34… I wish my Dad had walked me down the aisle at my wedding… but who would I have married? Where would I have graduated from? Forget college… I never would have gone to Upper Moreland. I would have been a Spring Side-er. I would have been a normal kid, whatever that means. I would not have met Dave and we never would have had Addie.

Because it’s Sunday, I’ll say it: I chose what to do after high school because I believe God has a plan. Is it the God hanging, bloody on the wooden cross in my Catholic church? Maybe not. Maybe it’s really the Messiah and we’re still waiting, maybe it’s just the idea that something besides our selfish souls and a boy named Mer controls where we end up.

There is a path, and it led me here. To Dave, to Addie, to writing.

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Marvelous Monday!

Hello, Reader! I hope you had a wonderful weekend, and did not imbibe too much! If so: Advil + Tylenol and have a pint of slightly salty water and lots of plain water… at least that’s what my college taught me 😉 I spent my Sunday celebrating my little beauty’s 11 month birthday… where does the time go?!

Addie11Months

This week I am thankful for wine stoppers! You know when you open a bottle, and you know you won’t finish it (at least you hope you won’t), but you tore the cork to an unrecognizable heap of flakes-that-once-were? That is where stoppers come in handy. I got a nifty owl-topped stopper as a gift (post-baby gifts are pretty amazing) and I am SO glad. It’s cute in the kitchen and makes me feel a bit fancy. For those times when you’re trying to open the bottle of wine with one hand, while you stir dinner, soothe the baby, finish the dishes and feed the dog with the other- my wine stopper has saved me! I no longer have to look to where the cork went to, pry it off the corkscrew, or figure out how to slam it back in there after I let it breathe and pour myself a glass… thanks to this awesome invention. Cheers to you Monday warriors- may your evening [glass] be filled once tonight, and the remainder saved, nice and fresh for tomorrow!

I am excited about this week, because I have some information about dwarfism that is both interesting to learn about, and crucial to new POLP (parents of little people). This weekend, new parents asked me about getting an MRI for their child who is not suffering from pain or sleepless nights. This child is just a few weeks old and also has achondroplasia. Addie just had a sleep study, and I think that’s what prompted this email to me.

Background information: Spinal cord compression is very common in people with dwarfism. Compression is the narrowing of the foramen magnum (at the base of the skull) causing the spine to become pinched. In many cases this narrowing causes pinching on the nerves and can cause pain, as well as central sleep apnea, which is when the brain tells the body to stop breathing. Without the presence of pain, it is hard to diagnose compression without an MRI or a sleep study. Due to the American Pediatric Guidelines on what tests should be performed for a child with achondroplasia, many doctors automatically prescribe an MRI. Because you have to be perfectly still for an MRI, many children are put to sleep for the process. Anytime someone is put under, there is a risk. For very young children, there is a higher risk. For someone with different spinal complications than an average height patient, there are more concerns and risks. With that, people with dwarfism often go through many x-rays in their lives, and the more you are radiated, the more you become susceptible to diseases that stem from radiation. With that being said: specialists in the genetic study of skeletal dysplasias suggest a sleep study (or multiple sleep studies) to rule out compression long before they suggest an MRI. Again, this is without the presence of pain. If there is pain involved, there are other factors that will be discussed in terms of necessary imaging and testing.

So… I wanted to share some of my responses with you. I think it is both educating and enlightening. While there are so many questions as to what is right or wrong for your child, I find myself, with other parents, wrestling with some heavy decisions about excess imaging (Addie is x-rayed every 6 months for the first 6 years of her life as a standard procedure with her geneticist), surgeries, testing and the big decision Dave and I made to spend time and money driving Addie to Delaware twice a year (305 miles each way) to meet with the top geneticist and leading orthopedic doctor specializing in skeletal dysplasia. We seek information about who is the best neurologist, ENT, pediatric dentist who has seen dwarfism, EI specialists who understand the physical limitations of younger children with achondroplasia… the list goes on. But, here, I’d like to focus on the idea of the MRI. I feel it is not necessary without presentation of pain AND/OR a negative sleep study showing an excess of central sleep apnea occurrences, with or without a severe loss in oxygen efficiency in sleep.

I am not a doctor. What I say below are my opinions as a mother. The stated opinions below should not be taken as medical fact or used as your final decision without consulting a medical professional. Here is our back and forth. I edited some information so that this family would not be recognized.

Our child is currently only 6 weeks old and the doctor wants to schedule an MRI, in which he will have to be sedated. It just scares me to have someone so little sedated, especially with all of the complications associated with sedation

Why an MRI? Is he feeling pain, in your mind? Addie has sleep studies instead of MRIs because I won’t put her under for imaging.
Is it a geneticist or pedi? Do they have experience with achons?

Currently it is the Pediatrician. He is not feeling any pain, as far as I’m concerned. She says that she is following the American Pediatric guidelines associated with Achondroplasia. She wants to consult with his geneticist first and then we are to go on from there. I don’t think she may have much experience with Achons but I am told that is the case with many. I’ve had many moms on POLP tell me that their children underwent MRI’s in infancy because it’s standard and they encourage it. I’m very much against it.

YES- she is right. The American Pedi guidelines suggest it, but that is for doctors who have patients with dwarfism, but who are not familiar with the condition, as they need guidelines.
Find a geneticist who works with LP and go from there. Dr. Bober in Delaware (we drive 300+ miles twice a year) was so glad we didn’t get an MRI. It’s ridiculous to image any child unnecessarily. They’re looking for compression in the foramen magnum, which will appear as pain and/or central sleep apnea. Apnea can also be caused by obstructions like the tonsils or adenoids. This is obstructive sleep apnea. A sleep study is the best place to start, especially if you’re not noticing pain cues. A sleep study will give results about if apnea is occurring and what kinds are, if at all. With this information you can see a neurologist, for central/foramen concerns, or an ENT for obstructive concerns.
If pain were an issue, I would go for the MRI, but with all the imaging our babies need to get in life, I, personally, want to limit unnecessary exposure.

Sleep studies aren’t “fun”, but they aren’t dangerous- putting a baby under always has risks.
Lots of kids still get them, but it’s not something that the leading specialists in skeletal dysplasia find necessary unless they see issues elsewhere first.

And so… there is a bit of what happens in our lives. It’s not tragic, but it’s a lot to think about just a few weeks after your baby is born, especially when it’s not something (like vaccines or schooling) that most parents think about long before their child arrives. Thank you for being more aware with me!

Lastly, my random of the week is a review! I was not paid, so don’t worry about advertising here!

As many of you know, Dave and I don’t go out. Not like “oh we never go out, but we get take out”… we don’t go out, we don’t get food out, we don’t grab a quick bite places, or the like. We simply do not have the funds for that… so, when we decide to have an afternoon date, we hope it’s out of this world. Let’s just say the Kitchen Bar in Providence was not that.

I chose to stop here because there is a restaurant with the same name in Willow Grove, PA and I love it- they are in no way connected, but I figured we’d give it a whirl. As we entered with Addie (and her booster seat cover), we were greeted by a customer with Alzheimer’s who shook Dave’s hand and told us how beautiful Addie was. I already liked this place from the name, and this older gentleman really brought a softness to me. Now… where was someone to seat us in the small, nearly empty place? Ahh… there she is. She’s the one who seemingly doesn’t have a smile and the reached past Dave without so much as a grunt to grab some menus and ask us if we needed a highchair. It was a rough start, but we figured: no big deal.

SittingatKitchenBar

Our waitress (also the hostess) came to take our order: Dave the poached pear and sweet potato salad to which he added grilled chicken and the Reuben for myself. She walked away before I could ask for a cider. Dave caught her attention on the way back from another table and ordered one for me. She asked if I wanted a glass, to which I replied “No”. She walked over, pouring the cider into a glass. Hmmmm…

As I sipped my cider, Dave took Addie to the men’s room to change Addie. There were no changing tables/stations in either bathroom, but they were really clean (bonus). Dave changed Addie in his lap- he’s such a resourceful Daddy!

When our food came, Dave was so glad he had added chicken, as there was barely any sweet potato (small bits) and just a few thin slices of pear. He made a note that when you have small bits in salads, a vinaigrette tends to lose those pieces, but a creamy dressing picks them up. This salad just wasn’t exciting, the elements were lost and without the chicken (which was delicious and Addie ate half of), he would have been left a hungry man. Then there was my sandwich. I LOVE Reubens (call it my Jewish heritage), so I should have read better. There was no Russian dressing… but there was SO much salt, I’m not sure that dressing would have saved it for me. Thankfully, the fries were amazing. Crispy, not salty or greasy- just delightful… and plentiful! I think there were enough fries for an army!

FoodKitchenBar

As we cleared our plates (except for the fries and the bread of 1/2 of my sandwich), we waited; Addie slowly growing impatient. Dave and I downed our water, and waited. Our waitress bussed and reset a table, refilled a customer’s beer at the bar and checked on another table all while we both attempted eye contact. From the moment she’d set our plates down, she had not returned to check on us once. With Addie in her coat and finally showing that she was done and ready to nap, Dave got up and went to the opening of the kitchen (it’s an open kitchen and he just popped his head in and said “if we could have the check, that would be great!”- in the sweet way only Dave’s patience allowed. She plopped it down gently next to him a minute later, took his debit card and returned the black folder to Dave to sign. She quickly returned for it less than 30 seconds later. I have to admit, I was miffed. Not once during our meal did you check on us, but you came back for your signed receipt faster than a speeding bullet? I’m confused by the service, or lack-there-of and the food was less than wow-ing. Personally, I would not come back here unless it was to watch a game on one of their smaller TVs on a day when there were few people there again. The bar was well stocked, and people friendly enough, but when you spend money eating out less than 6 times a year (this includes take-out, dates and sandwich stops), knowing that you’ll have good food and a good experience means a lot. You want to spend those few precious moments that someone else is waiting on you in a comfortable and welcoming environment. For us, that was not the Kitchen Bar.

The aesthetic design of the pub-style restaurant was beautiful- simple and clean, and the location on Hope Street keeps you right in the hustle and bustle of the famous East Side. Stop in for a drink and some fries… but leave the kids and true appetite at home.

My favorites <3

My favorites ❤

Have a marvelous week!!!

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Marvelous Monday!

Oh my goodness… every Monday seems to catch me by surprise! Where does the weekend go?!

To begin, I am thankful for new friends. This weekend we had the pleasure of going to a new friend’s house for her son’s 5th birthday. When we got there, everyone recognized Addie right away (even the hubbies). It was amazing to watch people smile at her and not look to question. Addie’s hair was pulled back, which I love because it keeps her hair off her face, but it also showcases her larger head. I think she’s drop dead gorgeous- her golden brown wisps around her temples and her big blue eyes shining, but every so often someone mentions her large melon and it darn near drives me up a wall. However, when we walked in the door, there were oohs and ahhhs. It may seem normal for most parents to hear those sounds, but to this mama, those sounds are pure music to my ears. I am so blessed to have met this family, and have the opportunity to expand my blogging, fitness and personal relationships.

At the party <3

At the party ❤

Information about dwarfism you may not know… you cannot discriminate against someone simply because they have a form of dwarfism. I’ve been speaking with a wonderful woman who has run into numerous issues when trying to sign her child up for daycare, and being given the run-around as to why they cannot accept her family. When it all comes down to it, there are so many ways for someone to say no that this family has had to provide the accommodations, adaptive materials and planning guides to ensure their child’s safety, and still there is much hesitance due to the “condition” their child has. You may be thinking that’s illegal and call a lawyer, but please remember why my recent journey has been met with such resistance: the world is ignorant to the facts about dwarfism. The LP community is underrepresented, and it is apparent in the daily lives of many. I hope you continue to join me in raising dwarfism awareness!

… While I’m on the topic, I wanted to share my random of the week, brought to you by SNL.

You know when you hear a joke and everyone around you laughs, but you realize that their laughter stems from the idea of dehumanizing your fellow man? Yeah, I know what that’s like. I grew up in the era of dead baby jokes. My baby brother died shortly after birth, when I was 6. There was never a time that I thought these jokes were funny, nor did I understand why the idea of anyone dying or being dead was something to laugh about. I went to private school, so these kids were not under-supervised kids- they were mostly the opposite of such. Still, when I asked the kids to stop, they would continue, often asking what wasn’t funny about their joke.

THIS LINK  is just another example of what’s not funny, even when everyone around you seems to laugh. This is a skit of SNL’s Stefon & Myers, and while I understand how hysterical it is to force a human into acting as an inanimate object or one that can be forced to do something inhumane… oh wait, I don’t understand. It’s not funny. It’s kind of gross. I can only imagine how many people out there are laughing at the idea of making a LP act as their fanny pack, but why? Why is mocking another human, and treating them like an object humor? I ask all of you this week to reflect upon what is satire and what is downright wrong. Trade places with another group of people… say someone who is African American being used as a pack carrier, or someone with autism being made fun of this way. You might bite your tongue before you laugh, if you laugh at all. I asked my friend about this. I could hear his bitter smile through the phone as he said, “The ACLU would be all over SNL before the skit ended if the black man was used in a joke as a pack mule to clubbers.”

I’m not asking for much… just some respect for your fellow man or woman. I guess that wasn’t so “random” after all.

Silver Linings Playbook… not only does it feature my amazing Philly, the gorgeous GA grad Mr. Cooper and my angry-face muse, De Niro, but it shows the hard lives people battle everyday as a result of mental illness. While the end is pretty feel good, in terms of how real life happens, and how people (generally) have to gingerly handle their daily lives for the remainder of them- it is a movie I will be suggesting to everyone. Not everything is easy in this life- let’s bring some awareness and love. Respect, mindfulness, and tolerance to things we may not understand, but certainly have the ability to accept. I hope that random  is a bit more palatable for you. 🙂 Thank you for reading! I hope you have a beautiful week, Reader!

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Marvelous Monday!

Oh my! What a weekend!

We had our sleep study… but I will write more about that later. For now I will begin for what I am thankful for:
Bic White-Out ecolutions… I know it sounds crazy and no, this isn’t a review. The thing is, I love making lists, and my mild OCD kicks in while writing said lists and often, if a mistake is made, I can’t just cross it out- I need to make a whole new list. Not only is this wasteful, it’s time consuming. For that reason, I’ve always loved whiteout. However, with a baby and no time to wait for things to dry, the nasty smell and when you write over the original liquid Whiteout it gets all lumpy (which sometimes means I need to throw the list away anyway, because it’s not neat)… You get my drift. The ecolutions formula is for me! Silly? Perhaps. But give it a whirl! Just one swipe over a mistake and you can write over the smooth surface immediately!

My information about dwarfism is simple, and not specific to dwarfism at all… treat others as you would like your child to be treated. So many people don’t care about themselves as they do for their children. We expect so little of our peers, but want so much to protect our young. A child is a child, no matter how different. You and I? We are there to lead those children to a life better than our own- not one of greater wealth or glory, but for the betterment of society. To leave this world better than when we entered. To enrich lives and teach those to pass on the virtues of kindness and nobility. To be leaders and followers. To be proactive and teach with a gentle, yet sure, hand. We are here to prove the phrases You’re never too old to learn and You learn something new everyday. Teach and be taught. Thank you for joining me in this journey.

Lastly, my random. Fitness is NOT something I (or my scale) take lightly. I love treating my body as my temple… including treating my body to the wine every goddess deserves. I have been following the amazing Girl Gone Healthy, and while I could not fathom doing a 45 minute plank with her last challenge, I ask you all to join me this month during the March Ab Challenge! Tera of GGH, is an amazing woman, wife, mom and blogger who doesn’t just preach at you, she preaches with you! Losing over 100 pounds and now on a journey to stay fit- follow her blog and FB pages (linked above) for technique, motivation and for the facts! You will know what to do everyday to better yourself. Think you can’t do it? I challenge you. You can follow tags:  March ab challenge #girlgonehealthy #gghmarch #core #challenge #getafterit #fitfluential #proof #push #arms #legs #squats @girlgonehealthy… or you can join those tags 😉

Your new month!

Your new month!

I need a pedi!

I need a pedi!

Plank this!

Plank this!

Will you join me for Day 4?

Will you join me for Day 4?

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After last week, it is, once again MARVELOUS MONDAY!

Oh my! Can we please start with what I am thankful for?! There’s no negativity allowed today!

Because, most likely, I am thankful for…

YOU!

That’s right. I have had some very supportive and well spoken readers. People who have been sharing, educating and learning right beside me and I am thankful for you. Let me say it again- when you are feeling down this week, or anytime- drop me a line here, because without your open minds and hearts, your love, compassion and ability to evolve, I would not be making a bit of difference in this world. You allow me to be a mom to Addie, a friend to you and a writer with thoughts and ideas I hope people will read and think about. This does not mean I expect you to agree with me, but to try and learn and teach me in return.

THANK YOU!

These lovely pieces were written last week, and I wanted to give them special love- they wrote for me and for themselves to educate others not strictly about dwarfism, but about compassion and civility. They wrote to share their stories about how sometimes people respond so positively and are so thankful to learn. Frankly, what is going on with the pickles truly makes one concerned for our human race. Thank you fellow writers for your kind words, true thoughts and for continuing on this path of educating peacefully and without reactive behavior.

Uncomfortable
A Sweet Tasting Pickle
It’s Not About the Pickles
Applesauce and Pickles

Thank you all so much.

Moving swiftly along… My dwarfism segment of MM!
It may be silly, but did you know about the plough?! It’s all the rage in this house. I know, you’re thinking Chelley, it’s a plow. Well forget the snow, Reader… we have a mobile baby! Addie learned to reverse plough, which is very common for achon babies to do in lieu of crawling. Yesterday, as I dragged my tired body from bed, I looked across the hall and saw my Mom and Addie playing… then I saw Addie’s legs, shoulder width apart, bending and straightening, her heels digging into the carpet. With each cycle of motion, she pushed her arched body across the room, led by her head. It was amazing!

Reverse Snow Plough

Addie looks way cuter than this… something like this:

Plough and Addie

It looks so silly to see, especially because I am not used to this mode of transportation. All of the children I see are either on their knees or feet, but here is my lady, going at it her own way. Am I proud? Heck yes… and scared. I guess it’s time to finish baby-proofing!

Lastly… my random of the week. I’m one of those, “proud I don’t have TV people”. Kind of makes you hate me for more than being the “crazy pickle lady”, doesn’t it? How un-American to not have a TV! But, I don’t. While I am happy that I don’t have the bill every month, I do wish that I knew what all the hubbub is about award shows. I also wish that I saw previews to the movies that cause such a stir, so that I may then go to the movies and see them before they make it to Netflix, and are old news.
Keep being proud, my fellow TV viewers, and drop me a line about the next best movie that comes out, please… before it’s on DVD!

Have a marvelous week!

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It’s a Marvelous Monday!

I might be the only one, but I love Mondays. It’s the beginning to my week, and what a week it will be- Addie has her ear tube surgery this week and I am nervous for it, but excited for her hearing to be better. Happy 10 months to my baby girl! May her procedure be quick and successful!

Addie 10 months

02.17.2013

Onto MM!

Thankfully, this weekend didn’t present Nemo II. Though there was enough snow to cause some delays in my hubby’s work, we kept our power (and thus) our heat!  So… I guess that’s my thankful for the week! We’re beginning a bit out of order, but I guess that’s OK!

My random is, most definitely, to take this week and slow down. My husband got this lesson this weekend when, after being stuck inside due to the cold and snow, Addie and I decided to take a trip to Target. Dave told me he didn’t have time to come with us- even after I told him it would be less than an hour because Addie had to come home to nap. Nope. No luck convincing him. Dave needed to finish working on an amp (he was working from home due to PVD’s parking ban) and test it before 6pm- he didn’t want to bother the neighbors. OK. He came outside to move his car.  * * * We came back home, and as I was backing into the driveway, noticed Dave’s taillights come on to back in, too. “Did you just get home?” I asked him as he strolled up to my car. I looked down and saw, peeking from beneath the hemline of his jeans, slippers.

“You locked yourself out, didn’t you?!” What I meant to say was, “Karma, jerk.”

He was cold because he didn’t want to waste a lot of gas keeping the car running, but with no jacket in 20° weather, he was worn down. He came inside, carrying the bags, as I laughed at him. I put Addie down for a nap, and he helped me put the new baby-proofing foam on the coffee table in the living room. His eyes looked up at me, though his chin was still down. He said, “I think this was the Universe’s way of telling me I should have just gone with you.” “Yup. You wasted family time trapped in your car. Nice work.”

We don’t spend enough time together. Dave works 7 days a week, barely taking the time needed to trim his beard or brush his teeth, and never complains about it. He leaves before 7am everyday and is never home before 7pm. He drives over 500 miles a week. He sees his baby for less than 10 hours a week. His baby that will become a teenager before he knows it, and no longer smile at him just for being Daddy. The “we” that doesn’t spend enough time together is the Martinka Family. I am hoping that things begin to come together. That his work will finally offer insurance, and we will have way less of an oil bill after the winter. That maybe I’ll sell a few more bibs, or be noticed for my writing and I can contribute a bit. Whatever it is that gives us a break- that’s what I hope for. Money may not make people happy, but it can alleviate the stress that having none creates. Until then, however, I just need him to slow down- and I need to take a breather, too. I’m sure you know the feeling- it’s 8pm and the kids are going to bed and you spent all day with them, but you have no idea what you did.

All of a sudden, I ask Addie where her head is, and she reaches up and pats her beautiful head of hair. Then she smiles at me and claps her hands to celebrate. These days won’t last.

My request to you this week, my random tidbit is, to slow down and revel in those moments- because, as I am learning, they are so very fleeting.

Lastly, which is usually first, some information about dwarfism! I generally focus on achondroplasia, because that is the most common form of dwarfism- also the type Addie has, but this week I want to tell you about SED. Spondyloepiphyseal dysplasia (read: spondylo: spine, epiphyseal: growing ends of bones, dysplasia: abnormal growth) is the term used for a group of disorders with primary involvement of the vertebrae and epiphyseal centers resulting in a short-trunk disproportionate dwarfism. This type of dwarfism affects 1 in 95,000 babies (acondroplasia is 1 in 20-45,000). As I’ve mentioned before, all dwarfism is not the same. Not even close. With SED, features are very different and commonly include club feet, cleft palate, severe osteoarthritis in the hips, weak hands and feet, and a barrel-chested appearance.

Addie’s friend, Sara, has this type of dwarfism. She is 9, and size is not the only thing that makes her different from other children her age. It’s not just the 30+ surgeries, months spent in NICU, being born less than 5 pounds, the trach, or any other medical differences. Sara holds conversation with adults as though they are peers. She listens intently and asks appropriate questions. When she is excited about a new topic, she talks about it- a lot. In fact, if there is ever a moment of silence, count on Sara to fill it. It’s very impressive, especially because Sara had a trach for much of her young life. Watching her play at the YMCA, Sara builds tall forts, runs around with kids her age and shoots baskets like she’s in the WNBA! When she needs to sit, she simply does… but she doesn’t complain. She asks why and almost makes a that’s not fair statement referring to the bounce house, but I see her brain catch her, her eyes move to a cardboard brick that could be used in the castle wall, and she’s off to get it. Sara is not shy, she does not hide behind her [amazing and dedicated] mom. She’s far more independent than most kids her age, and has two amazing older brothers to watch out for her when her curiosity gets the best of her. From behind her wire-frame glasses, Sara’s brown eyes light up when she sees Addie and she pulls her in close to her body:

Addie and Sara

IMAG2077

When Addie and I first met Sara, we were new to the community. We were unsure and on new ground. It was at a meet-up for our district in Mystic, CT that we found local friends to help us navigate and we are so thankful for them. In truth, Addie and Sara are as different from each other as an AH child and LP. Their dysplasias are not the same and do not effect their bodies in the same way. Expanding our knowledge about dwarfism is a learning experience for all of us, and we are enjoying meeting such wonderful friends as we do! Best of luck to Sara as she embarks on her journey to DuPont for a sleep study, pulmonology appointment, and a knee surgery!

Thank you for learning with me this week. Please ask any questions via the “Contact” tab!

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